As an overweight woman I am used to getting comments about my size. It shouldn’t happen but it does and I am absolutely sick of it. What gives anyone the right to comment on someones size -ever?! If you do it you are an absolute moron!
It started when I was at school and not fat. I was a healthy weight but psychologically I thought I was big – I compared myself to other girls and felt huge. I wasn’t. I was a’normal’ size and wish I had appreciated that.
Fast forward a couple of years and I went to weight watchers for the first time with my mum as I wanted to lose a stone. Not a huge amount but the leader said to me -‘oh Im glad you are here – you are too pretty to be fat.’ What a ridiculous thing to say to a 17 year old who wanted to lose 1 stone!! I remember it clearly – even though it was about 23 years ago. That says everything. Words stay with you.
I got married to my amazing, loving husband who couldn’t care less what I weigh. He has NEVER commented on my weight. He does however worry about my health and will encourage me when I start trying to lose weight, but to sing his praises a bit more. He NEVER fat shames me.
I have had extended family members make comment about my weight. 1 rather ‘lovely’ comment was when I had suffered my 3rd miscarriage. I was told ‘at least you can lose a bit of weight now’ after hearing the news I had lost my baby.
Another incident was a couple of years ago. Still overweight, I started running to at least get fit and hopefully lose some of the weight. I was out running with my Hubby. I was training for the Great North Run and although not fast could run around 5 miles without stopping by this point. That is a huge deal for anyone who has tried running. A car full of blokes aged 30-40 yr old pulled up beside me and stopped their car. They then started shouting and jeering ‘fat B****’ and other insults out of the window. I held it together mainly because I was holding my husband back from laying them all out but also because I didn’t want it to look like they had hurt me in anyway.
Boy did that hurt though, and it completely destroyed my confidence to run outdoors. From that point I dreaded every run and after I had done the Great North Run – which I loved by the way and ran 90% of the way!! I stopped running. I let them win I suppose but my already low self esteem was in tatters.
Recently I have had comments like ‘how did you get that big?’ ‘I suppose that’s why you put weight on.’ and ‘you look like you enjoy your food.’
I am now at the point where I expect comments and say them before other people do – I make jokes about my weight so others don’t feel the need to. It’s a defense mechanism to protect myself because of thoughtless stupid people who quite honestly need to take a long hard look at themselves in a mirror.
My only comfort is knowing that I am doing something about my weight. I am working on reminding myself that I am beautiful person inside and out – regardless of where I am on my weight loss journey. I have a loving family who will hug me until the negative comments are out of my thoughts, build me up when I feel down and defend me with everything they have.
To those of you who have made comments about peoples weight then shame on you. You are not funny. You’re words hurt. Don’t do it – ever.